For me, there was an integrity factor influencing my “tough love” decision. The “tough love” response was to take a stand from a place of integrity. I did not want to make a scene. I simply chose to not attend the ceremony, to make a statement. But the way I did it avoided making any public condemnations. Of course, how I felt was not a big secret, but I chose not to be abrasive about it. I recall the scripture: “Ye that love the Lord, hate [the] evil.” (Psalm 97: 10a, KJV.)

Meaningful love must always be expressed in a context of integrity, and sometimes the “best love” we can give is a corrective “tough love.” But the underlying priority of “tough love” is still love itself, not toughness. We can still try to see the positive higher nature, the God-potential, in the person who is a challenge to us.

And if LOVE IS THE PRIORITY, we strive to let love guide our actions, influence our attitudes, direct what we choose to see in others. Even if at times we have to settle on a “tough love” that “loves the sinner but hates the sin” -- and we may not ever fully know why another person misses the mark -- we still do make a commitment to “love the sinner” because as the apostle Paul said, ALL HAVE SINNED AND FALLEN SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD. We’ve all “missed the mark” and failed at times to observe The Golden Rule perfectly. But the Valentine Mandate is that love is still always the priority.

Please feel free and welcome to contact Rev. Ousley with any questions, comments or prayer requests.